state of the [me] in letter form

dearest blog readers,

remember when i used to blog todos los dias [that is spanish for 'everyday']? well, i don't anymore. and i will tell you why in a series of notes. kind of. it will be more like an update of why i am having a hard time being productive today. which is exactly why i am blogging rather than reading. or writing. or statistics-ing. boo.

love,

an open-mouth, comic strip heidi

dearest gold's gym of provo/orem, utah:

are you seriously going to make me start paying $25 a month when my 14 travel pass times are up? i get that you won't make me pay the start up fees, but $25? does my mother's 12 or so years of membership and my 5 years mean nothing to you? apparently. please, lower your cost. and plus, your power pump class [that i attended this morning] aint got nuttin' on body pump. and your turbo kick aint got nuttin' on body combat. and your yoga class aint got nuttin' on mercedes at hb golds or my david swensen ashtanga yoga dvd [yes, he's insane and gooood].

alas, i will probably sign with you come september. then i will be making money. but first, i will bat my lashes and twirl my hair and blush just a tad to get that price knocked down to $20 or less.

sincerely,

a disgruntled semi-member

dear social studies teacher,

i adore you. i think you are the greatest teacher. and you are hilarious. and you are interesting. and engaging. and you give us work to do. but i don't mind doing it because you are fabulous. thanks. i look forward to class tomorrow.

yours truly,

miss kendrick.i.t. {in training}

dear watermelon,

you're possibly one of God's greatest fruit creations. i always think it's strawberries. and then i think it's just berries. and then i eat you and i think, you, it's you. which is probably why i ate you for lunch today. but don't worry, i had a barbecue turkey burger and salad later.

your fruity friend,

heidi

dear Church,

thanks for asking my to speak on Sunday. i am genuinely looking forward to it. plus it gives me a reason to spend extra amounts of time on reading Gospel things and scriptures. although, i shouldn't need a reason to do anything more than 20-30 minutes. nevertheless, i'm excited. will report when it's all said and done. oh, my friend is speaking too. i'm going to tell the first half of a joke and just stop it in the middle and people are going to think i'm really weird and not funny. but then he'll get up 15 minutes later and tell a joke. and when he says the last line people will all say, "oooooooh. hahahaha. heidi's not crazy. they're both funny!"

love,

heidi

dear statistics,

why? why!? i tried 4 times to have you waived. you're the same book as before! oh, the pre-reqs are different? puh-lease. it's the same book! and now i have to drive to salt lake twice a week for you. not fun. you're not going to get more than an hour of my attention a day. hopefully it will be less than that. i just don't have time for you. and i really only need to just pass you, so, yeah. you're on the bottom of the totem pole. sorry. but, my professor is a sweet man.

regards,

a not-so ecstatic statistician

dear bed,

welllll what can i say? it's summer. and it's light until 9.30pm. and i want to have fun. and i am. and i am trying to plan out my classroom. and get my homework done. and did i mention have some fun? yeah, i did. so basically, you're pretty low on the totem pole, too.

but. you've been calling me for naps, little ones. 3 days in a row! is that insane or what? i never take naps! the late nights and 5-6 hours of sleep just aren't cutting it. and i've gotta go running in the mornings before class. so thanks for the naps.

i look forward to your inviting comforter tonight.

sleepy heidi

{this will be the last one. because i need to stop procrastinating. mostly just because i have to get ready and leave for slc. boo statistics. great attitude, eh?}

dear miss kendrick,

oh wait, that's me! i just wanted to inform you that you are official. you've signed the contract. you've got the badge. you're enrolled/registered for the internship. you have your classroom/school keys. you've been to alphabet station with a purchase order. you're in your last 2 classes. this is real. and you need to apply for graduation. woo hoo!

welcome to the real world,

heidi